The main characters were dating, and the man was going to meet his girlfriend’s family for the first time for a family dinner. Knowing how her dad was, the woman gave her boyfriend some advice.

She said, “My dad can ‘go off’ on certain topics, so don’t mention politics or religion.” Then she thought a bit longer and said, “Oh, don’t mention where you went to school; he hates your alma mater.” As they pulled into the driveway, she continued, “Oh, also, he’s having a rough time at work, so don’t ask about his job.” Getting closer to the door, she said, “He doesn’t know I dropped out of school to be an artist, so don’t talk about my job or any of my classes, and you might not want to mention your family is from California…” He knew it was going to be a difficult night.

The scene was funny because almost everything triggered her dad, and there wasn’t much left to discuss. 

We may not be as bad as her dad, but we all have things that trigger us. Some subjects, when thought about or mentioned, cause negative emotions within us. We know what it feels like to be triggered and what it feels like to “go off” because we were triggered. 

We may know someone who likes to “push our buttons.” They know what triggers us and choose to go where wise people fear to tread. It seems like they enjoy seeing us triggered. 

Since we know what triggers us and what it feels like to be triggered, we can choose a different path. Thoughts can hijack us. They come and come again, and if we aren’t paying attention, they can catch us off guard and cause us to “go off,” get angry, become depressed, and experience a whole host of negative emotions. 

Thoughts can do that, but they don’t have to. Mary Margaret Funk points out that awareness helps us distance ourselves from our thoughts, which is the first step to discernment. We are not our thoughts, but they can take on a life of their own and hijack us. This is what happens when we are triggered.  

We may feel we are victims and have no choice, but that’s untrue. We do have a choice.  

Once we are aware that we are beginning to be triggered, we can pause and replace the triggering thought with a different one. Instead of focusing our attention on a thought that’s triggering us, we can focus on a much different thought. 

Since we can only think one thought at a time (although, let’s face it, sometimes many thoughts come to us at once, but we can only think about one thing at a time), we can replace one troubling thought with a much better thought. The difficulty is not refocusing on the troubling thought.

At this point, we can choose to cultivate God’s presence. Replace that thought with a thought of gratitude or grace. Any thought is better than one that takes us down a negative path.  

Like everything, it’s hard to do at first and feels unnatural. It takes determination and desire, but when we replace negative or destructive thoughts with better ones, we change. We become less triggered and more transformed. As we pause and cultivate God’s presence in that moment, the negative emotions and thought subside. We find joy. We find life in the presence of God.

This is part of “The Formative Path” a 2024 Fall Sermon Series at St. Paul United Methodist Church in Bloomington, Indiana. For more information and the Weekly Reflection Sheets, go to https://ponderingpassages.com/category/path/