Running from What We Need Most

Scientist, researcher, and author Lynn Underwood recounts a cartoon of someone locked in a dark room as a Valentine is slid under the door. She said this is how some of us receive love. 

We talk about love, sing about love, and even watch movies and TV shows about love. But there are times when love is hard. Loving others may be hard, but there’s another side to this. Sometimes, it’s hard to be loved. 

Maybe it’s because love doesn’t happen as much as it should. Or maybe as much as we would even like. I’m not writing about the kind of love we see in entertainment or hear in songs. Love like that is everywhere. It’s love that keeps us on our feet because we never know when it might be taken away.

A bad day, an unthoughtful act or a momentary lapse can cause our cultural kind of love to skedaddle, leaving us broken, alone, and wondering why we can’t seem to keep love.

The type of love I have in mind is not based on what we’ve done, what we can do, how we make someone feel, or how we can contribute to society, our neighbors, or church. The love I’m thinking about is based solely and only on who we are. That love happens rarely. It’s wonderful when it knocks on the door, but even though we know we need it, we may sit there in the darkness and let it keep on knocking.

We may resist that kind of love because we feel we don’t deserve it. And by definition, we don’t. We are so used to the what-can-you-do-or-give-me kind of love that we believe we must do something to merit love. If we were able to merit it or deserve it, it wouldn’t be the other kind of love. The kind of loved based on who we are.  

Maybe we are afraid because unmerited love makes us vulnerable. We can’t hide behind what we’re doing or have done, so we resist. Instead, we always try to earn love, but probably feel that we come up short.

Yet there it is, waiting for us: God’s love—God’s not-based-on-what-you-do love. The Bible says it’s God’s kind of love, and it’s waiting—love that Knocks, seeks, and pursues us. 

The Apostle John says that “God is love” (1 John 4:16) and defines love by writing:

This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. (1 John 4:10)

The Bible says that you are beloved—yes, you—not because of what you’ve done but because of who you are—one who is loved.

So yes, Love knocks. Can you hear it? Maybe it’s time to turn on the lights, open the door, and let it in. 

This is part of “The Formative Path” a 2024 Fall Sermon Series at St. Paul United Methodist Church in Bloomington, Indiana. For more information and the Weekly Reflection Sheets, go to https://ponderingpassages.com/category/path/