In a few hours, I will be leaving my hotel and traveling to Ghost Ranch in Abiquiu, New Mexico. I have no idea what to expect.

I learned about Ghost Ranch on a Lilly Podcast as they talked to another Clergy Renewal Grant recipient. As I looked further, I decided to give it a try on my renewal leave.

Ghost Ranch is a retreat center of the Presbyterian church. The Ranch has been used for various movies such as City Slickers. In that movie, Mitch heads to the ranch with two of his friends to “find his smile.” While I love the movie, it wasn’t until after I had secured my reservation that I discovered City Slickers was filmed there.

I’m not heading there to find my smile. I’m heading there because I don’t know what to expect.

I’ve formed my life around expectations such as what I want from life, what I want to happen, etc. Sometimes, and I hate to admit this, I try to control outcomes, so my expectations become reality.

I did not want to live this way on my renewal leave. Instead, I want to be open to whatever, whatever God wants, whatever happens, to “show up,” whatever the moment provides. So, instead of making plans, I made reservations, not knowing what might happen between check-in and check-out.

While I had some idea of what might happen on the Scotland trip and my time out West, Ghost Ranch is different. They usually have classes and activities, but this next week, they don’t. There isn’t a T.V in the room. Internet is only available in a few places on the ranch, and it is slow satellite internet at that. They also said that cell service is extremely spotty, and you may only get a signal in a few places.

In other words, what I might normally do, might not be an option.

I’m taking a chance with this blog post. I’ve decided to do an entry each day at the Ranch. I’m not sure what the entry will consist of or how long it will be. I’m not even sure when I will be able to post the entries. Nevertheless, you are invited on this journey with me as I spend time with God…not even sure what that means.

I don’t know if I will “find my smile,” but I have a sense I will find so much more.