Here I find myself. Sitting in a nice office within a nice church that is located in a nice city. My life is pretty good when I take time to look at it correctly. Four children and a wonderful wife are waiting for me at home. My wife is probably preparing supper while my children are doing homework.
Yet, somewhere in this world there is another pastor. Doing what God is calling him to do. Only he is sitting in prision. He won’t have a nice supper tonight. He won’t be going home to his family. His life is much, much different than mine.
How in the world can I be at a place where the “problem” of pain is an issue of faith. There are faithful men, women and children who endure sufferings for their faith. What must I endure for my faith? My suffereings are not having enough money to go to a movie I would like to see.
My fear is, I have allowed my culture to cut into my committment to Christ. My fear is, that instead of heeding the full call of God I am following a call that has been disformed by the culture in which I live in. I spend $30 for books and bibles, while other faithful christians pay with their life to spread the Good News. The Good News..how ironic. I wonder if I could call it Good News if I knew it would cost me everything. I know some do and some are. They have a faith that makes mine pale in comparision. They are the ones who have heard God’s call and experience God’s grace each and every day.
Hmmm….. It is been qite a while since I’ve made an entry. Blogger has changed some things too. Not sure what the number above is (or if it will show up on the post).
Anyway, the past four months have been interesting to say the least. I’m now at my new appointment….still trying to make the transition. I’m learning that I was in denial before I moved. To make a long story short, I made quite a few changes (career, location, house, etc), but I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal. Now, I’ve slowed down a bit.
To be honest, things are going fairly well. The kids have adjusted quite well and really like their new school. That took quite a bit of pressure off.
I’m trying to ‘relearn’ how to be a pastor. Actually, I’m not sure I knew how to be a pastor before. I was all about building a kingdom and trying to impress other people. Now, I’m trying to remember that there isn’t anyone I need to impress. My goal is to listen for the movement of God and move in that direction. At times, I feel like I should be “doing”, but I keep hearing God’s voice moving me in a new direction. Some of my old goals and directions have changed.
I’ve been reading a book by Philip Yancey. I love his writing. It rings true with my soul. Everyday, I’m dealing with people trying to understand what it means to be a christian within the context of their lives. I feel like many times the church doesn’t help with the struggle. Instead of helping people to become all God is calling them to be, the church puts demands and asks a lot of their time of energy.
If there were one thing God was calling the church to do….what would that be?
That question haunts me. My fear is we are so busy doing many things…we aren’t doing the one thing.
enough for now…..Dave.
The internet is an amazing place. Many times, I start out in one place, only to end up in an entirely different place. As I think about that, it amazes me. In some ways, it is kind of like my pilgrimage of faith. When I started out this journey…I had no idea I would be where I’m at right now. Of course, much like the web, my journey wasn’t in a straight line…there have been curves around the way and soon, I’m sure, I will find myself back where I was 😉
Well…last night I was looking at different church resources. Basically, they were “emerging” church resources. Among the resources I found various blogs. One blog pointed me to the next and I ended up on a blog by an Iraqi (as far as I can tell). On his site he was discussing the war and what it was like to live in Baghdad during the war. You can read it yourself at this link.
I still don’t know where I stand on the war. I guess, at some level, I would like war to be stopped at all levels….but then again, understand that things break down. I can’t imagine what it would be like to live in Baghdad today. From what I hear, many of the Iraqis want Saddam stopped, however, they really don’t want the US to be the one to do it. Basically, their city is going to be a mess. Eventhough it will eventually be built back up, those things take time. They will be dealing with the repercussions for quite a while.
I do pray that the war ends soon. I pray that the loss of life will be minimal. I also pray that God somehow, someway can use this war to glorify himself and move people toward himself.